Passions of the Soul

"Christianity" at its worst

Unfortunately, this kind of representation always manages to make the news and travels all over the place, through TV, the Internet, e-mails...no doubt Twitter....  It's worse than bad news:  Through extreme ignorance, self-righteousness, and a willful ignoring of scripture, itself, such attitudes misrepresent the Christ we love and serve.

Cycles in Marriage

Love & Respect:  The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs
Author:  Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
Published:  Thomas Nelson, 2004
324 pages, including Appendices and Notes

The Apostle Paul wrote that "those who marry will face many troubles in this life" (I Corinthians 7:28). No kidding! Dreams of "happily ever after" die, usually within the first few months to a year.  Sometimes they die hard, awash in anger, resentment, disappointment and frustration.

In Love & Respect, Dr. Eggerichs builds on Paul's admonitions in Ephesians 5:22-25, a familiar passage that has aroused resentment in many wives and led some husbands to be heavy-handed with their wives. Both reactions are based in misunderstanding. Where translations variously say that wives must "submit" to their husbands, or "be subject to" them, Paul used a word that better translates as respect.  It does not mean that wives are to be slaves, doormats or wimps.

The understanding that Eggerichs and others have come to is that wives and husbands are commanded to give what each needs the most:  We wives need to know we are loved and cherished, so much that our guys would die for us "as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her" (Eph. 5:25). That apparently does not come naturally to husbands.

Meanwhile, husbands want to be our heroes, the man we look up to, the man we respect. And that does not come easily to wives, especially when all around us, in magazine articles, on TV talk shows and sitcoms and in movies, men are treated with disdain and even contempt.

And so we fall into what Eggerichs calls the "Crazy Cycle": Wherever and however it starts (or whoever starts it), he does not treat her in a loving way, so she reacts with disrespect, which evokes an unloving response, etc., ad nauseum. But there is hope.

Not to speak ill of the dead...

I know.  We're not supposed to do that.  But some folks whom I know to be good people, with a good sense of values, are all broken up because a certain former star is dead, and it's all I can do not to gag.  Literally.

We have a real problem with hero worship, in this country.  Primarily, in my opinion, too many people make heroes of other people who are morally and spiritually bankrupt, but because they have some particular talent or skill and the resources to showcase themselves, the crowds go wild.  Scandals can arise and center on these stars, and they somehow get off easily, or at least, too lightly.  Their fans are all too willing to overlook the criminal activities, whether drug-related or involving such horrors as pedophilia or cruelty to animals, as long as their hero is allowed to continue singing/playing football (or some other sport) or doing whatever she or he does that drives the fans wild.

To put it another way, fans will tolerate, excuse or ignore behavior in their undeserving hero that they would not tolerate, excuse or ignore in a spouse or significant other.

There was a time, in this nation, when the heroes were the policeman, fireman, soldier, or any other person who acted in a selfless manner to the benefit of other people, known or unknown.  I'm thinking of the late Sgt. Eric Hite, who was a Tucson police officer.  Hite was killed last year in the line of duty by a young man who was well-armed and had led police and sheriff's deputies on a lengthy cross-town chase.  Sgt. Hite was a bona fide hero, and many people still mourn his death.  All who had known him spoke of his selfless commitment to his job--first in the Air Force, and then with the police department; his devotion to his wife and 1-year-old daughter; his concern for the officers under his supervision; and most significantly, his all-out commitment to Jesus Christ.

I will not be watching any of the displays of hero worship on television, tonight or at any other time, for a man who--again, in my opinion--did not deserve the kind of devotion lavished on him in life, and now in his death.  I suppose we will be treated to hearing about him every year, just as we hear about Elvis and other "icons" of entertainment, too.  And, one day, the U.S. Postal Service will create a new stamp in his honor.  Sigh.